i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
