So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize