the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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