Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
