it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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