her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
