Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
