I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
