He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just invented taco cereal.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
