He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
