We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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