yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
