Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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