I wanna bring you to show and tell
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
