had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
