batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Drunk is not a location!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
