Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
