I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
