I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
