singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize