the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize