Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
