is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
