Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
