u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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