he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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