ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
