Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
