Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
