eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
