I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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