so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
