I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
