a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
