i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
