I am in a vortex of obligation.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
BRING THE BAGELS
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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