I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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