Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
