Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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