You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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