the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
