yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
