The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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