Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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