Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We are all done wearing pants today
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
