Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You can't just leave with hair like that
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think my moral compass just broke
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