We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize