the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
