That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
