Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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