R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
