Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
