he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am one with the molecules
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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