It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
