I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
