I'm drive I can fine osifer
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
