Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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