If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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