I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize