we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
