I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
