I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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