it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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